(Originally posted September 16, 2017)
8.) What is the hardest change in your life that you are struggling with?
Well, this is a hard question to answer! Honestly, there are so many changes and so many things that I am having to become accustomed to that it is hard to narrow it down to one thing that stands out from the rest. It has not been easy to leave all the familiar and comfortable to enter an entirely new world. It is like being a baby all over again and learning from day one of your childhood. Language, interactions, foods, culture, things that are acceptable and things that are not, it's all new and strange. Not strange in a bad way, it is just different.
The only thing is -- feeling like a baby in all of these things as an adult forces me to swallow a LOT of pride and independence to be able to humbly accept corrections (ALL the time) and to learn and accept another way of living. (Even making spaghetti is different in this country, and that is something I've been doing since I was a young girl. Who would have thought that learning how to make spaghetti would be a humbling experience?) It is harder than one would expect to lay down the way you have always thought as correct for another way of life...a way of life that isn't wrong...just different.
Perhaps the most difficult thing that I've struggled with isn't necessarily the inability to have a southern home-cooked meal for almost 6 months (so far), or dodging crazy motorcyclists as I walk everywhere I need to go, or trying to keep up with the Dominican Spanish, or the frustrations of the everyday realization that I will be learning Spanish for the rest of my life and may never feel 100% fluent, or any of the other 1,000 things that are new to me in this Dominican lifestyle. Perhaps the most difficult thing is not being able to call up some of you and say, "Can we have coffee today? I just want to spend some time with you," or "Hey, let's do something tonight. It's been too long!" Or to hear others of you say, "Megan, come over for breakfast or tea. Let's talk for awhile." Relational things. I miss you guys. I miss my family, my friends, and I miss my church.
Let's be real. It doesn't matter if you have a family or if you are living as a single missionary, there are huge challenges that can only be overcome by the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. And many times these things are only overcome with lots of tears and always with lots of prayer. There is a loneliness that I have felt being here as a single missionary woman that I anticipated, but didn't know just how strong it would be. But in the process, in this season, the Lord is being ever so patient with me and teaching me (again) that He is sufficient and that He hasn't and will never leave or forsake me. In the loneliness I'm learning (again) that I am not alone. It's not been easy and I don't know that it ever will be EASY but He gives the grace to press on each day. He is faithful to me. He is faithful to His children.
I know that this will change over time as I continue to build relationships with the people, become more and more fluent in the language, and as my ministry here becomes more rooted in the community. But in the meanwhile, I'm in a unique place of learning from the Master. And I'm trying to stay at His feet to learn what He has to speak to me until He brings me to a new place in this journey with Him.
9.) Do you feel like you are accomplishing the tasks that God has given you?
I don't know how many of you are familiar with the story of Katie Davis. She has a book that has ministered and challenged soooo many people. It's entitled, "Kisses from Katie." If you haven't read it -- especially if you have a heart for mission work, I recommend it to you to read. Her heart reflects my heart and many of the things that she speaks about in the book are so similar to things I have thought and felt that it almost seemed like she pulled the words right out of my thoughts or put the desires of my own heart into written words.
She said in her book, "I have learned that I will not change the world. Jesus will do that. I can, however, change the world for one person. So I keep stopping and loving one person at a time. Because this is my call as a Christian."
This is the heart of what I am here to do. Some days it looks different than others, but if I "lift up my eyes to the hills" where "my help comes from," (Psalm 121) I am able to focus in to take the time and put in the effort to love one person at a time. I believe that as I do this, whether I am in the schools with the children, in the church playing the piano and leading worship, washing dishes or helping cook dinner in the home of a family, stopping to greet someone on the street, or having someone in my home for coffee and conversation...that yes, I am accomplishing the tasks that God has given me. I am in no way perfect, and sometimes my gaze does fall from the "hills"... but the Lord is merciful, and He reminds me where my focus should be, and we move on to love the next person together, He and I.
10.) What Bible passage has ministered to you in recent days?
I touched on the passage in the last answer. Psalm 121 has been one of the many places in Scripture that comfort my heart and help me to walk in confidence.
"I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."
- He is my help everyday. What a comfort - especially in the harder days. I think He has carried me more than I've walked since I've been on this new missionary journey.
- Where I place my focus is important. When my eyes aren't fixed on Him, I won't be operating in the help that He is ready to give me to go through my days victoriously. This is something that is a life-long lesson -- to train our focus to stay on the face of Him who is ready to give everything needed to fulfill the calling that He has placed on our lives. He doesn't call us without equipping us. Also -- we are ALL called. If we bear the name Christian, we are called. You aren't exempt just because you don't bear the name Pastor or Missionary.
- He doesn't sleep. He doesn't take breaks. He is always watching, always caring, always protecting, always ready for us.
- I LOVE the phrase, "The Lord is your shade on your right hand." Here in Sabaneta, it is ALWAYS sunny and hot. My shadow is impossible to remove from the sidewalk at my side as I'm walking from place to place. Also, at night, as I am walking home alone, I use my shadow (cast by the street lamps) to make sure no one else is walking around me. He is like the shadow at my right hand, keeping me and protecting me.
The Lord is faithful. He is patient. He is kind. He listens and responds to us as we seek Him. He loves us. He loves us.
Until next time, dear friends. Be blessed.
